Load off My Chest. WARNING: INCOMING- UNORGANIZED CRAP

   It's 11.37 p.m. and I need to talk to everyone, but I can't. They're busy getting on with their lives, crying, laughing, planning. I'm a huge ball of energy, pent up frustration, I release it here, now, on this space, for you to read. I wish I was there but I wasn't. I want to soak in the atmosphere, almost dying from the long wait, I want to feel, but all that's here in me is bottled up feelings I can't quite let out. Or maybe it's worse. Maybe it's

nothing.


 It has been hours since I received the call from Rachel. Four years of waiting, attempts to work hard feeling lousy, to attain a number which in itself determines my self worth, or so society says. My value, printed neatly on a piece of paper, the contents of which were translated into a series of sounds, transported over land and seas, from Singapore to Brisbane. I got twelve, raw score, for L1R5. I suppose I can say it sucks or love it to bits, but I barely have feelings for this two digit number. I suppose the earlier me would have felt more, reacted more, having just finished the O levels, but it's just okay I guess. I would rather feel because I operate by feeling drastic feelings. But this, this is weird. Okay I shall try to feel now,


  YES OKAY I SHALL TYPE IN CAPS CAUSE CAPS IS EMOTION-FULL. I AM HAPPY. I LIKE MY RESULTS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. I'm sorry if I just sprinkled salt over your festering wound, and violently pushed into it, blending the salt into your fresh wound that shows no sign of healing. I wouldn't say I'm proud of it. It's okay, I expected it. Whatever you got, just let me say this:

  It's not the beginning, nor the end. This is merely a stepping stone in the grand scheme of life, what matters is what you do after this, for you cannot change what you have done.

  Okay I'm done trying to be all beating about the bush. Actually i don't quite get what to say. I just want to talk to my friends but they're all somewhere but cyberspace. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA BYE.